Its amazing how the simplest things can be what gives you the greatest pleasure.
Think about small children at Christmas and Birthdays. What do they always play with the most? Its not the fancy clothes or the new trendy toys with the kung fu grip. Its the wrapping paper and the ribbons that most kids play with and enjoy the most.
The same is true with Noah and his progress.
We have been working for the past couple of years to get him to wear his speaking valve and we thought for a while that it would never happen. Finally over this past summer, literally overnight, he decides that it is something he wants to do and he starts wearing it. His speech improved remarkably over a matter of just a few weeks. It improved so remarkably that one of his speech therapists declared that he was caught up and another reduced his sessions to one a month. This in itself is a huge accomplishment.
However, Noah's tenure with the speaking valve didn't last very long.
When Noah went back for his October clinic visit they were so impressed with how well he was wearing the speaking valve that they decided to try giving him a full cap.
For my non-trach and vent friends the speaking valve is a plastic cap that goes on the end of the trach and has a small flap of plastic in it. it will allow air in but not out. So since speaking is a process of exhaling (try talking while breathing in) it allows him to speak nearly normally but he doesn't breathe through his mouth and nose. The cap is just a small plastic cap that covers the trach entirely and closes it off so that all breathing (in and out) is through the mouth and nose (like normal). It looks like the cap to a tube of Crest Toothpaste.
We tried to get the doctors to let us try a cap on Noah in previous clinic visits since he wasnt tolerating the speaking valve. They were not in favor and even though they humored us once and let him try it, they were quick to deem it "unsuccessful" and sent us away capless.
This time the doctor covered Noahs trach and he fussed about it but she decided to let Melinda try it and Noah was perfectly happy. They gave us a few caps (that I am sure they got from toothpaste tubes that they had lying around and just sterilized and then sold for $300 each) and sent us home.
If we were impressed with the progress Noah made with the speaking valve that was nothing compared to the explosion of speech and new behaviors and unexpected helpful side effects that came from using the cap.
His speech has gotten remarkably better. Words that he learned to say while wearing the speaking valve have become clearer and much more understandable and he now uses many two word phrases. He is still a picky eater but he is getting much better and eating much more that he used to. We are really starting to push the table food now. The most entertaining benefit is that he has learned how to yell. I mean really yell. His favorite thing to yell is "DIE!!!!". I'm not sure why or where he picked that up from. We don't frequently scream "DIE" in our house, well we didn't use to. Now we do because its fun to get him going. I'm sure we will regret that later.
The benefits of the cap arent just developmental either. We usually had to suction his trach once or twice a day (which isnt
that much) but now we will go days without suctioning him since he is
wearing the cap. Also, his oxygen saturation and CO2 levels are much higher when he sleeps. Typically when he sleeps his saturation would dip to the mid to low 90s at times (anything below 90 is bad) and his CO2 levels would drift up into the 40s (anything higher than 50 is bad). Now when he wears the cap most of the day his saturation stays 98-100 most all of the time and his CO2 stays in the mid 30's, both of which are excellent. I dont know the medical reason that the body works better when you breathe the way that God intended but it seems that he did know a thing or two about how to build a human.
So this year we have gotten our Christmas present early. It wasn't big and fancy. It was a tiny little (toothpaste) cap that came with a huge amount of progress.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Spike This Part 3 (She didnt need those eyebrows did she?)
The next match Beth didnt play at all. She kept working and going to practice but she wasn't put in to the game. I had mixed feelings about the next time she was put into the game (if there was a next time).
We continued to practice at home too. I just didn't get the sense that her heart was in it any more. I felt like I needed to say or do something to help her get her confidence back or at least the desire to play.
Beth is kinda funny.
I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, though.
If she is interested in something she is something akin to an unstoppable force. You don't want to get in her way. She will do anything or work as hard as necessary to get what she wants. By the same token if she isn't interested or has lost interest in something she is the unmovable object. She is extremely hard to motivate and will do only the bare minimum necessary. It has been true with her in school, piano and everything else. When she wanted straight A's, she made straight A's. When she wanted to learn piano, she learned piano. When she wanted to play volleyball she learned the game and all of the techniques on her own.
I got the sense that her motivation for the game was waning and that was bad. She would spend what was left of the season on the bench or just going through the motions of the game and getting little or no playing time.
I felt like I needed to do something to help her want to do this again.
I wasnt sure what to do.
I didnt feel like threatening to pull her off the team was the right approach though. A few days passed and we were in the street practicing and she was half-assing it and going through the motions as she had been doing ever since that game.
I finally stopped and walked over to her and asked her if she wanted to play volleyball anymore. She gave a disinterested shrug and said "Yeah, I guess so".
I said "Do you, really? I'm serious. If this isnt what you want tell me and I'll understand".
She said "I do, I guess".
Thats when I kinda lost it. "Then play the game. Get out there and play. Play volleyball or get off the court and quit wasting every ones time" I said.
I came out pretty sharp and I could tell that she was a little misty eyed after I said it.
Then she said "Ok. I will" with a little bit of venom in her tone.
We played a little while longer and went in.
Beth is a tough person to read. I didnt know if anything I said had actually registered with her or if she was just giving me a little but of her normal attitude.
The next match was at Pleasant Grove Middle school. As with all of the matches the team from the fartherest out plays first. Since Rudd was the farthest geographically we got to play Hueytown first.
Beth didn't play.
Rudd played poorly, they didn't call their balls or work together. It was 6 individuals on the court. There was no team work at all. The sad thing is that it was a game they could have won easily if they would have worked together. Rudd lost and went to the sidelines to prepare for the next match against Pleasant Grove.
Beth didnt play the first game.
The girls played better but not great. There was some more cooperation between the girls but again it wasn't a lot. In the end it was enough to win the game 25-23. The second match was about to start and I could see that the girls were huddled on the sidelines and Ms. Binder was talking to Beth. She had her by both shoulders and looked like she was encouraging her. I leaned over and told Melinda that it looked like Beth was going to be put in.
The butterflys came up in my stomach.
The truth is that I was probably more nervous than she was. The Lady Indians took the court and sure enough Beth took her position. As usual she looked over at me and I gave her a smile and a thumbs up. I said a silent prayer that things would go right for her and she would have a good game and get to play a while.
I was totally unprepared for what came next.
The match started and the first couple of points were volleyed back and forth and went to Pleasant Grove. Pleasant Grove served again. I went back and forth a couple of times and came to Rudd. The first girl to hit it bumped it up. The setter hit and put a perfect set on the ball.
It came to Beth.
A thousand thoughts went through my head. Would she hit it. Would she duck. Would she watch it hit the ground thinking it was someone elses ball?
No.
She moved under it, bent her knees and went to spike it as she had tried and missed so many times before. She jumped slightly and her arm moved to the ball.
The sound of her had hitting the leather on the ball sounded like a gunshot.
The ball sailed over the net very fast right at the head of the girl on the Pleasant Grove side of the net.
She put her hands up and covered her face and ducked.
The ball bounced off her her hands and went out of bounds.
She had scored.
Beth scored and spiked the ball. The Rudd side of the court erupted in cheers. Beth looked over at me and a tiny little smile crept up at the edges of her mouth.
It. Was. On.
It was as if the heavens opened up and the gods of volleyball had possessed my daughter. She spiked three more balls, all for scores. She served 5 serves for points. She returned three balls that she had to dive for that no one else had a chance to get. What was even better was that her team responded. They began to communicate and they worked together. She got high fives from her teammates and their parents were yelling "Go Number 20". She looked over at me in the middle of the game and instead of mouthing "Im scared" she smiled and mouthed "Its hot in here". I smiled and thought to myself that right now the hottest thing in here was her.
Poor Pleasant Grove never stood a chance.
The final score was Rudd 25, Pleasant Grove 17. When the game was over the team gathered around Beth and congratulated her on the game. The parents all patted her on the back and told her how good her game was.
I couldnt express how proud I was of her. What was best was that the twinkle was back in her eye and she was happy to be playing volleyball again.
There have been good games and bad games since that evening at Pleasant Grove. Beth has played fairly well for the most part. She hasn't gotten discouraged even when things don't always go well. I think she has learned that she can play and just has to keep working hard. Her dedication to the game has increased and we are now looking at playing club volleyball to keep her in the game and help her to continue to develop.
There might be another chapter to this story in the future. We'll just have to find out where it goes from here.
We continued to practice at home too. I just didn't get the sense that her heart was in it any more. I felt like I needed to say or do something to help her get her confidence back or at least the desire to play.
Beth is kinda funny.
I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, though.
If she is interested in something she is something akin to an unstoppable force. You don't want to get in her way. She will do anything or work as hard as necessary to get what she wants. By the same token if she isn't interested or has lost interest in something she is the unmovable object. She is extremely hard to motivate and will do only the bare minimum necessary. It has been true with her in school, piano and everything else. When she wanted straight A's, she made straight A's. When she wanted to learn piano, she learned piano. When she wanted to play volleyball she learned the game and all of the techniques on her own.
I got the sense that her motivation for the game was waning and that was bad. She would spend what was left of the season on the bench or just going through the motions of the game and getting little or no playing time.
I felt like I needed to do something to help her want to do this again.
I wasnt sure what to do.
I didnt feel like threatening to pull her off the team was the right approach though. A few days passed and we were in the street practicing and she was half-assing it and going through the motions as she had been doing ever since that game.
I finally stopped and walked over to her and asked her if she wanted to play volleyball anymore. She gave a disinterested shrug and said "Yeah, I guess so".
I said "Do you, really? I'm serious. If this isnt what you want tell me and I'll understand".
She said "I do, I guess".
Thats when I kinda lost it. "Then play the game. Get out there and play. Play volleyball or get off the court and quit wasting every ones time" I said.
I came out pretty sharp and I could tell that she was a little misty eyed after I said it.
Then she said "Ok. I will" with a little bit of venom in her tone.
We played a little while longer and went in.
Beth is a tough person to read. I didnt know if anything I said had actually registered with her or if she was just giving me a little but of her normal attitude.
The next match was at Pleasant Grove Middle school. As with all of the matches the team from the fartherest out plays first. Since Rudd was the farthest geographically we got to play Hueytown first.
Beth didn't play.
Rudd played poorly, they didn't call their balls or work together. It was 6 individuals on the court. There was no team work at all. The sad thing is that it was a game they could have won easily if they would have worked together. Rudd lost and went to the sidelines to prepare for the next match against Pleasant Grove.
Beth didnt play the first game.
The girls played better but not great. There was some more cooperation between the girls but again it wasn't a lot. In the end it was enough to win the game 25-23. The second match was about to start and I could see that the girls were huddled on the sidelines and Ms. Binder was talking to Beth. She had her by both shoulders and looked like she was encouraging her. I leaned over and told Melinda that it looked like Beth was going to be put in.
The butterflys came up in my stomach.
The truth is that I was probably more nervous than she was. The Lady Indians took the court and sure enough Beth took her position. As usual she looked over at me and I gave her a smile and a thumbs up. I said a silent prayer that things would go right for her and she would have a good game and get to play a while.
I was totally unprepared for what came next.
The match started and the first couple of points were volleyed back and forth and went to Pleasant Grove. Pleasant Grove served again. I went back and forth a couple of times and came to Rudd. The first girl to hit it bumped it up. The setter hit and put a perfect set on the ball.
It came to Beth.
A thousand thoughts went through my head. Would she hit it. Would she duck. Would she watch it hit the ground thinking it was someone elses ball?
No.
She moved under it, bent her knees and went to spike it as she had tried and missed so many times before. She jumped slightly and her arm moved to the ball.
The sound of her had hitting the leather on the ball sounded like a gunshot.
The ball sailed over the net very fast right at the head of the girl on the Pleasant Grove side of the net.
She put her hands up and covered her face and ducked.
The ball bounced off her her hands and went out of bounds.
She had scored.
Beth scored and spiked the ball. The Rudd side of the court erupted in cheers. Beth looked over at me and a tiny little smile crept up at the edges of her mouth.
It. Was. On.
It was as if the heavens opened up and the gods of volleyball had possessed my daughter. She spiked three more balls, all for scores. She served 5 serves for points. She returned three balls that she had to dive for that no one else had a chance to get. What was even better was that her team responded. They began to communicate and they worked together. She got high fives from her teammates and their parents were yelling "Go Number 20". She looked over at me in the middle of the game and instead of mouthing "Im scared" she smiled and mouthed "Its hot in here". I smiled and thought to myself that right now the hottest thing in here was her.
Poor Pleasant Grove never stood a chance.
The final score was Rudd 25, Pleasant Grove 17. When the game was over the team gathered around Beth and congratulated her on the game. The parents all patted her on the back and told her how good her game was.
I couldnt express how proud I was of her. What was best was that the twinkle was back in her eye and she was happy to be playing volleyball again.
There have been good games and bad games since that evening at Pleasant Grove. Beth has played fairly well for the most part. She hasn't gotten discouraged even when things don't always go well. I think she has learned that she can play and just has to keep working hard. Her dedication to the game has increased and we are now looking at playing club volleyball to keep her in the game and help her to continue to develop.
There might be another chapter to this story in the future. We'll just have to find out where it goes from here.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Spike This (Part 2) ((The Empire Spikes Back))
So the season started...
Let me just say that as a first time sports parent I was unprepared for several things. First, was how short the season is. Well I should clarify... The season is short time wise. It runs from August to the end of September but in that time nearly every day of the week has some volleyball related activity (practice, games, etc) so your entire life revolves around volleyball for those two months. The second thing that I was unprepared for was how skilled these kids are. I expected them to play ok, maybe a little better than your average school yard game but these kids are good and hit hard. They dive, slide and jump at the ball and set up complicated shots against their opponent. A large part of them serve overhand and some of the serves will flat take your head off.
Again I figured that Beth would be overwhelmed, that maybe she had started a little too late in sports to catch up with where these kids are. I realize now that I have underestimated my daughter and her desire to play this game.
The 2011 Rudd Lady Indians have 17 members on their team. 4 or 5 of them played last year and are the veterans. The coaches try to insure that all of the girls get some playing time as much as possible. But due to the large team size and being a first timer Beth typically plays about every third game in relief of one of the veterans. After several practices they determined that Beth would play middle. Most of the time she plays front middle. Beths typical playing schedule is to have games on Mondays and Wednesdays. The first week we were at home for the games and after that we travelled to other schools to play.
With Beths limited playing time and her natural disposition to be quiet and reserved she is not the most aggressive player and didnt have to opportunity to develop as quickly as she needed too.
About the 3rd of 4th game in Rudd played McAdory and Beth was put into play in the first game of the match. She played well, better than before. She served 4 straight un-returned serves and returned several balls that came to her. Overall I felt like it was a good game for her and that her confidence in her skills would benefit from it.
The season rolled on.
I am making this sound like months ro weeks went by but in reality the whole middle school season takes place in a month and a half start to finish. At this point we are a little over midway through the season and Rudd was scheduled to play Irondale and North Jefferson at North Jefferson.
The game started and the first match was Rudd vs Irondale. I learned that in these games the team that is the farthest away geographically gets to play first. Presumable this is to help with the travel time back home from the game site. This meant that Rudd would play the first and the third matches since they were a little closer to North Jefferson than Irondale. Beth didn't play the first match against Irondale and Rudd got beat in two straight games. They didn't play well and Ironale took advantage of their mistakes. Once that match was over Irondale played North Jefferson; the team that just had beaten Rudd pretty convincingly got hammered by North Jeffereson. During this pounding I started to look around and I noticed that there were banners on the wall and North Jefferson was the reigning the County champion two years running. Yikes.
Rudd took the court and Beth was put into play. I was already a bit nervous about our chances against them and rightfully so. North Jefferson seemed to be moving about twice the speed of Rudd. The girls were not calling their balls or working together in any way.
This was going to be bad.
After a couple of serves North Jefferson netted a serve and Beth rolled into the serving position. While we were still working on her overhand serve she was using her normally reliable under hand. She never missed an underhand, ever. She didn't miss in practice and she had never missed a serve in a game. She took her position and served the ball. It hit the net. The color drained out of her face and you could see any bit of confidence that she had drain with it. North Jefferson took over serving and the beating continued. Beth was in the center of the court and several of the serves came to her.
She missed every single one.
She was in the wrong position, her approach to the ball was wrong and none of them had a chance for anyone to assist. To make matters worse when she went after one she was slow getting back in position and and the next serve came to her spot and someone else had to scramble to cover it, unsuccessfully.
North Jefferson scored 6 quick points.
In between serves Beth frequently looks at me. I like to believe this is for reassurance or to see what my opinion of the game and her performance is. She did during this game and I struggled to think of something positive to say. I mouthed "Its ok" and she mouthed back "I'm Scared". I knew right there that she was done in this game. Her confidence was gone and she was not going to be able to help her team. She was in the process of self destructing mentally and it wasn't going to get any better. I told Melinda that the best thing they could do at this point would be to pull beth out.
They should have cause it didn't get better.
The next serve came over and someone managed to get it back over the net. On the return it came directly at beth. I said a silent prayer that she would somehow find the strength to get the ball, that luck would go her way and something good would happen to settle her down and get her back in the game.
It didn't.
She did the one thing that you never, ever do in volleyball.
She ducked.
She ducked the ball like she was in the world championships of dodgeball.
She had no intention of trying to return it or play anymore.
Finally, mercifully, they pulled her out of the game. I think she was as relieved as Melinda and I were. The game finished, North Jefferson beat Rudd very convincingly and we went home. Privately I wondered if volleyball was the right sport for us or if Beth was really cut out for the pressure of team sports or not.
I tried to reassure Beth that it was ok and these things happened but I could tell that she was pretty upset about the whole thing. I hoped things would get better as the season went on but there wasn't a whole lot of time left in the season and it didn't appear that things were going to have a chance to get better. Honestly, it wouldn't have surprised me if they never played her again.
Stay tuned for Part 3...
Let me just say that as a first time sports parent I was unprepared for several things. First, was how short the season is. Well I should clarify... The season is short time wise. It runs from August to the end of September but in that time nearly every day of the week has some volleyball related activity (practice, games, etc) so your entire life revolves around volleyball for those two months. The second thing that I was unprepared for was how skilled these kids are. I expected them to play ok, maybe a little better than your average school yard game but these kids are good and hit hard. They dive, slide and jump at the ball and set up complicated shots against their opponent. A large part of them serve overhand and some of the serves will flat take your head off.
Again I figured that Beth would be overwhelmed, that maybe she had started a little too late in sports to catch up with where these kids are. I realize now that I have underestimated my daughter and her desire to play this game.
The 2011 Rudd Lady Indians have 17 members on their team. 4 or 5 of them played last year and are the veterans. The coaches try to insure that all of the girls get some playing time as much as possible. But due to the large team size and being a first timer Beth typically plays about every third game in relief of one of the veterans. After several practices they determined that Beth would play middle. Most of the time she plays front middle. Beths typical playing schedule is to have games on Mondays and Wednesdays. The first week we were at home for the games and after that we travelled to other schools to play.
With Beths limited playing time and her natural disposition to be quiet and reserved she is not the most aggressive player and didnt have to opportunity to develop as quickly as she needed too.
About the 3rd of 4th game in Rudd played McAdory and Beth was put into play in the first game of the match. She played well, better than before. She served 4 straight un-returned serves and returned several balls that came to her. Overall I felt like it was a good game for her and that her confidence in her skills would benefit from it.
The season rolled on.
I am making this sound like months ro weeks went by but in reality the whole middle school season takes place in a month and a half start to finish. At this point we are a little over midway through the season and Rudd was scheduled to play Irondale and North Jefferson at North Jefferson.
The game started and the first match was Rudd vs Irondale. I learned that in these games the team that is the farthest away geographically gets to play first. Presumable this is to help with the travel time back home from the game site. This meant that Rudd would play the first and the third matches since they were a little closer to North Jefferson than Irondale. Beth didn't play the first match against Irondale and Rudd got beat in two straight games. They didn't play well and Ironale took advantage of their mistakes. Once that match was over Irondale played North Jefferson; the team that just had beaten Rudd pretty convincingly got hammered by North Jeffereson. During this pounding I started to look around and I noticed that there were banners on the wall and North Jefferson was the reigning the County champion two years running. Yikes.
Rudd took the court and Beth was put into play. I was already a bit nervous about our chances against them and rightfully so. North Jefferson seemed to be moving about twice the speed of Rudd. The girls were not calling their balls or working together in any way.
This was going to be bad.
After a couple of serves North Jefferson netted a serve and Beth rolled into the serving position. While we were still working on her overhand serve she was using her normally reliable under hand. She never missed an underhand, ever. She didn't miss in practice and she had never missed a serve in a game. She took her position and served the ball. It hit the net. The color drained out of her face and you could see any bit of confidence that she had drain with it. North Jefferson took over serving and the beating continued. Beth was in the center of the court and several of the serves came to her.
She missed every single one.
She was in the wrong position, her approach to the ball was wrong and none of them had a chance for anyone to assist. To make matters worse when she went after one she was slow getting back in position and and the next serve came to her spot and someone else had to scramble to cover it, unsuccessfully.
North Jefferson scored 6 quick points.
In between serves Beth frequently looks at me. I like to believe this is for reassurance or to see what my opinion of the game and her performance is. She did during this game and I struggled to think of something positive to say. I mouthed "Its ok" and she mouthed back "I'm Scared". I knew right there that she was done in this game. Her confidence was gone and she was not going to be able to help her team. She was in the process of self destructing mentally and it wasn't going to get any better. I told Melinda that the best thing they could do at this point would be to pull beth out.
They should have cause it didn't get better.
The next serve came over and someone managed to get it back over the net. On the return it came directly at beth. I said a silent prayer that she would somehow find the strength to get the ball, that luck would go her way and something good would happen to settle her down and get her back in the game.
It didn't.
She did the one thing that you never, ever do in volleyball.
She ducked.
She ducked the ball like she was in the world championships of dodgeball.
She had no intention of trying to return it or play anymore.
Finally, mercifully, they pulled her out of the game. I think she was as relieved as Melinda and I were. The game finished, North Jefferson beat Rudd very convincingly and we went home. Privately I wondered if volleyball was the right sport for us or if Beth was really cut out for the pressure of team sports or not.
I tried to reassure Beth that it was ok and these things happened but I could tell that she was pretty upset about the whole thing. I hoped things would get better as the season went on but there wasn't a whole lot of time left in the season and it didn't appear that things were going to have a chance to get better. Honestly, it wouldn't have surprised me if they never played her again.
Stay tuned for Part 3...
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Spike This... (Part 1)
I've never played a lot of sports.
I mean I like to watch college football and I played soccer for a couple of years and baseball one season in 6th grade but I never went out for the football team or the baseball team in school. Just wasn't my thing. Melinda was even less sporty, way less sporty. Way way less sporty.
You get the idea.
So needless to say I was a little surprised when Beth came home from school one day and said that she wanted to try out for the volleyball team at school. I was even more surprised when she said that tryouts weren't until April or May and it was like February and she started asking me to go out and practice in the street with her. We started practicing at home at least two or three times a week. We practiced serving, hitting balls, returning, etc. I have never seen Beth go after something so intensely. She was so dedicated to learning a game that she had only played for recreation at school. She just inherently knew that if she was going to have a chance of making the team she had to learn the game and get good enough to compete.
I was impressed.
Honestly, I still figured that it was a fad and would pass. I figured that she would either go try out and most likely not make the cut or get bored with it and let it go. There were so many things that were against her. She had never played team sports before, she was going to try out against girls that played on the team last year, and she was very inexperienced. She just had some basic, self taught skills. When tryouts came around Beth was excited and nervous. They had over 70 girls show up for the try outs. It was almost twice as many as tried out last year. Again I figured the odds were against her. She made the first cut which went from 70 girls down to 25 girls. I was impressed. Then after another day of tryouts she made the second cut to the 17 girls that were to be the 2011 Rudd Lady Indians. I was so happy and proud of Beth. She was ecstatic, of course. Rather than thinking that she could stop, back off or quit practicing she got even more into it and we started practicing more. She went to a volleyball clinic at Samford over the summer. It was required for all players on the team. She had a blast at clinic and you could tell that she refined a lot of her basic skills and learned the rules of the game.
Finally, the season and practices started. She really seemed to be enjoying and getting better and better. Her confidence and skill really seemed to be growing.
Rudd was invited to play in a pre-season jamboree. They played 4 games and Beth got to play in the last one. Beth was very inexperienced. She didn't know where to stand or how to rotate through the positions. However, she played with some confidence and even though the team wasn't playing very well Beth held her own, she returned several serves and served several balls to the other team that they didn't return. I found out after the fact that she had bent her thumbnail back and it was bleeding during the game and she kept on playing. She showed some toughness and I thought that she could really have a chance to do well at this. I was very proud of her first effort and she really seemed to enjoy it. We left the game very optimistic about her team and her chances to play and grow. In a few short months she had gone from knowing nothing about volley ball to playing in a tournament and scoring points on the other team and doing her part. We left very excited and encouraged.
Part 2 Coming Soon.
I mean I like to watch college football and I played soccer for a couple of years and baseball one season in 6th grade but I never went out for the football team or the baseball team in school. Just wasn't my thing. Melinda was even less sporty, way less sporty. Way way less sporty.
You get the idea.
So needless to say I was a little surprised when Beth came home from school one day and said that she wanted to try out for the volleyball team at school. I was even more surprised when she said that tryouts weren't until April or May and it was like February and she started asking me to go out and practice in the street with her. We started practicing at home at least two or three times a week. We practiced serving, hitting balls, returning, etc. I have never seen Beth go after something so intensely. She was so dedicated to learning a game that she had only played for recreation at school. She just inherently knew that if she was going to have a chance of making the team she had to learn the game and get good enough to compete.
I was impressed.
Honestly, I still figured that it was a fad and would pass. I figured that she would either go try out and most likely not make the cut or get bored with it and let it go. There were so many things that were against her. She had never played team sports before, she was going to try out against girls that played on the team last year, and she was very inexperienced. She just had some basic, self taught skills. When tryouts came around Beth was excited and nervous. They had over 70 girls show up for the try outs. It was almost twice as many as tried out last year. Again I figured the odds were against her. She made the first cut which went from 70 girls down to 25 girls. I was impressed. Then after another day of tryouts she made the second cut to the 17 girls that were to be the 2011 Rudd Lady Indians. I was so happy and proud of Beth. She was ecstatic, of course. Rather than thinking that she could stop, back off or quit practicing she got even more into it and we started practicing more. She went to a volleyball clinic at Samford over the summer. It was required for all players on the team. She had a blast at clinic and you could tell that she refined a lot of her basic skills and learned the rules of the game.
Finally, the season and practices started. She really seemed to be enjoying and getting better and better. Her confidence and skill really seemed to be growing.
Rudd was invited to play in a pre-season jamboree. They played 4 games and Beth got to play in the last one. Beth was very inexperienced. She didn't know where to stand or how to rotate through the positions. However, she played with some confidence and even though the team wasn't playing very well Beth held her own, she returned several serves and served several balls to the other team that they didn't return. I found out after the fact that she had bent her thumbnail back and it was bleeding during the game and she kept on playing. She showed some toughness and I thought that she could really have a chance to do well at this. I was very proud of her first effort and she really seemed to enjoy it. We left the game very optimistic about her team and her chances to play and grow. In a few short months she had gone from knowing nothing about volley ball to playing in a tournament and scoring points on the other team and doing her part. We left very excited and encouraged.
Part 2 Coming Soon.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Progress is a funny thing...
Someone recently asked me if I remembered way back when I wrote a blog. It couldnt have been that long since I wrote one. It was just the other day wasnt it? What do you mean it was April? Ouch. It has been a while. Anyway, my apologies I'll try to do better next time.
Progress is a funny thing. I said that already didnt I? Most of the time progress happens slowly; so slowly you can barely even notice that it is happening. My children only grow one of two inches per year. It takes years for them to learn numbers, letters and colors and then take that information and learn to read and write and then even more years to go to college and learn a career and get a job.
Although if you look at the big picture progress appears to be a painfully slow moving snail-like thing sometimes it can be very fast and abrupt and nearly instantaneous. This is the case with Noah lately. Noah is nearly two years old and has been home from the hospital for 20 months. In that time he has done a really fantastic job of adapting to his condition. He has learned to make noise and around the trach and sign words that he couldn't say. His progress has been slow but continuous. We have had a Passy-Muir Speaking Valve (PMV) that we have tried to get him to use. For those of you who aren't up on your tracheostomy lingo a PMV is a small device that attaches to the end of his trach that allows air in for him to breathe but wont allow it out so that it goes up his airway and out his mouth and nose (like normal). This allows him to speak since speech is a process of exhaling air and vibrating your vocal cords.
Noah hated his PMV.
That's an understatement. He hated his PMV with a purple passion.
If we put it on him he would hold his breath til he nearly turned blue and then when he couldn't hold it anymore he would start screaming and crying. This would go on as long as we kept it on. As soon as we took it off everything would be fine again. As parents we really wanted him to wear the valve because it really would help his speech development and get us one step closer to capping the trach and ultimately getting it removed. It represents progress. His reaction to the PMV was so severe that we began to question if he would ever tolerate it and if he wouldn't tolerate the PMV how would he ever tolerate a cap over the trach that would force him to breathe in and out through his nose and mouth. I never realized that breathing normally was going to be a challenge. We even began considering modifying the PMV by drilling a hole in the side of it so that it would allow some air to exhale through it and some through his nose and mouth in hopes that maybe he would tolerate it. We were desperate for some sort of progress that would help him speak and breathe better.
About once every two or three weeks we would try to put the PMV on him because we are into torture and screaming. The reaction was always as described above. No progress. While we were at the beach a couple of weeks ago someone asked about how he was tolerating (or not tolerating) the PMV. I felt like a demonstration was in order. I wanted to show them how severe his disklike of the PMV really was. I took it out of the case and put it on his trach and braced for the screaming fit that was coming.
I waited.
Waited a little more..
And a little more...
He wasn't screaming or turning blue. He was just standing there. Then he started making a few small noises. Then it happened. He made a zurbit, you know, a rasberry, mouth fart whatever you want to call it. He had been trying to do them already with the HME on but since all of the air comes out through his neck it just comes out as a puff of air. With the PMV on it all of a sudden came out of his mouth. He giggled. Then he did it again. Then he started making noise all kinds of noise. He just started doing a continuous stream of sound. He had never been able to do that before.
He still wasn't screaming. He actually seemed to be enjoying it.
You could almost see him realizing that he could do something new.
Over the past two or three weeks since the beach he has worn the PMV nearly continuously when he is awake. In that short time his speech has improved noticeably. He already has several new words and sounds that didn't exist previously. He has had to learn volume control. The first few days that he wore it he talked very loud. He had to use so much air to make noise around the trach and he was doing the same with the PMV and it came out very loud. He is learning to talk a little softer now but he does like to scream a little just because he can now.
Noah insists on wearing the PMV now. That is a huge change. He now brings the PMV to us if he wakes up from nap and we don't put it on him immediately. That is amazing considering that he used to run from us crying if we were to show it to him.
Progress is a funny thing but I am enjoying the heck out of it and I cant wait to see whats next.
Progress is a funny thing. I said that already didnt I? Most of the time progress happens slowly; so slowly you can barely even notice that it is happening. My children only grow one of two inches per year. It takes years for them to learn numbers, letters and colors and then take that information and learn to read and write and then even more years to go to college and learn a career and get a job.
Although if you look at the big picture progress appears to be a painfully slow moving snail-like thing sometimes it can be very fast and abrupt and nearly instantaneous. This is the case with Noah lately. Noah is nearly two years old and has been home from the hospital for 20 months. In that time he has done a really fantastic job of adapting to his condition. He has learned to make noise and around the trach and sign words that he couldn't say. His progress has been slow but continuous. We have had a Passy-Muir Speaking Valve (PMV) that we have tried to get him to use. For those of you who aren't up on your tracheostomy lingo a PMV is a small device that attaches to the end of his trach that allows air in for him to breathe but wont allow it out so that it goes up his airway and out his mouth and nose (like normal). This allows him to speak since speech is a process of exhaling air and vibrating your vocal cords.
Noah hated his PMV.
That's an understatement. He hated his PMV with a purple passion.
If we put it on him he would hold his breath til he nearly turned blue and then when he couldn't hold it anymore he would start screaming and crying. This would go on as long as we kept it on. As soon as we took it off everything would be fine again. As parents we really wanted him to wear the valve because it really would help his speech development and get us one step closer to capping the trach and ultimately getting it removed. It represents progress. His reaction to the PMV was so severe that we began to question if he would ever tolerate it and if he wouldn't tolerate the PMV how would he ever tolerate a cap over the trach that would force him to breathe in and out through his nose and mouth. I never realized that breathing normally was going to be a challenge. We even began considering modifying the PMV by drilling a hole in the side of it so that it would allow some air to exhale through it and some through his nose and mouth in hopes that maybe he would tolerate it. We were desperate for some sort of progress that would help him speak and breathe better.
About once every two or three weeks we would try to put the PMV on him because we are into torture and screaming. The reaction was always as described above. No progress. While we were at the beach a couple of weeks ago someone asked about how he was tolerating (or not tolerating) the PMV. I felt like a demonstration was in order. I wanted to show them how severe his disklike of the PMV really was. I took it out of the case and put it on his trach and braced for the screaming fit that was coming.
I waited.
Waited a little more..
And a little more...
He wasn't screaming or turning blue. He was just standing there. Then he started making a few small noises. Then it happened. He made a zurbit, you know, a rasberry, mouth fart whatever you want to call it. He had been trying to do them already with the HME on but since all of the air comes out through his neck it just comes out as a puff of air. With the PMV on it all of a sudden came out of his mouth. He giggled. Then he did it again. Then he started making noise all kinds of noise. He just started doing a continuous stream of sound. He had never been able to do that before.
He still wasn't screaming. He actually seemed to be enjoying it.
You could almost see him realizing that he could do something new.
Over the past two or three weeks since the beach he has worn the PMV nearly continuously when he is awake. In that short time his speech has improved noticeably. He already has several new words and sounds that didn't exist previously. He has had to learn volume control. The first few days that he wore it he talked very loud. He had to use so much air to make noise around the trach and he was doing the same with the PMV and it came out very loud. He is learning to talk a little softer now but he does like to scream a little just because he can now.
Noah insists on wearing the PMV now. That is a huge change. He now brings the PMV to us if he wakes up from nap and we don't put it on him immediately. That is amazing considering that he used to run from us crying if we were to show it to him.
Progress is a funny thing but I am enjoying the heck out of it and I cant wait to see whats next.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Water Cooler Talk...
Water. H20. Aqua. Other than air it is the most fundamental substance on earth. We cook with it, drink it, bathe in it, swim in it and if you watch old movies they need it for birthing babies. Although I have never seen it used for that with any of my three. However, most of us would never willingly put it in our electronic devices. That usually results in the magic blue smoke coming out and it never seems to work the same after that.
I think I might be getting ahead of myself a little bit. Let me back up a little bit.
As most of you know I like computers and electronic stuff. I have been building and fiddling with computers for 30 of my 40 years. I built my first computer at the age of 16. It was a clone of an IBM 80286. It had a whopping 256K of RAM and a 32 Mb Hard Drive. My cellphone puts that to shame these days. Before that I had a home built Apple 2E with DUAL FLOPPY DRIVES!!! I have probably built 200+ computers for myself and others over that time and upgraded or repaired more than that.
However, over the past few years with my increased responsibility in my engineering business and the addition of my third child I have found less time and desire to build and rebuild my computer every few months. Three years ago I gave my desktop up for a laptop computer. Over the past few months I have been getting more involved with some new 3D drafting software at work and the hardware requirements are significant. The limitations of my laptop were beginning to show. I decided that it was time to build a new computer for myself that would have the increased horsepower necessary for my work needs. I made the decision to build my new machine rather than buy something prepackaged. Building from scratch gives you the ability to control whats in the computer and truly tailor it to your needs. You also get more bang for your buck since you dont have to pay for things you already own or bloated software packages that you will never use.
So I started to research components.
I knew I needed a CPU with some real power so it didnt take too much to convince me that I needed an Intel Core i7 processor. AMD still has some nice chips but nothing out there today compares with the dual-quad core power of the i7. I could write a whole blog about the cool things that Intel has done with that processor. I chose the i7-940 running at 2.93 Ghz.
The motherboard is almost as important as the processor. I have always been a fan of Asus components but for this machine I settled on a Gigabyte Ultra-Durable 3 motherboard. It was very highly rated and uses the Intel LGA1366 chipset, SATA 6.0, DDR3 support and USB 3.0. It also had the M.I.T. integrated into the BIOS. This is the tweaking function that allows you to dynamically overclock the processor and get more CPU power for your buck.
I decided that I needed a minimum of 8 GB of DDR 3 RAM. The motherboard is rated for DDR 3 1600 (overclocked from 1100). So I chose G. Skill Ripjaw. I got a matched dual channel set of RAM with 2 banks of 4 Gb each.
The hard drive is a Hitachi Deskstar 2Tb SATA 6.0 hard drive.
The optical drive is a 16x LG Blu-Ray Writer.
The video card I already had at the office. It was left over from some upgrades that I did to the other machines. It is a Zotac implementation of an Nvidia 220 GT with 1 Gb of VRAM on board.
The case is several years old. I bought an all aluminum case (most of them are steel) several years ago. I really liked the case but when I made the move to laptops it got moved to the computer graveyard in my basement. The aluminum case is much lighter and is supposed to help with heat dissipation. So after a little cleaning it was ready to go. I also found a multi-function card reader in one of my old computers and removed it and put it into the new machine.
I was really starting to feel good about this new machine. I thought this was going to be one hot computer. Boy was it...
Assembly went well. I was surprised how much fun I had assembling one from scratch again. After an hour or so I had it all put together in the case and it was ready for the test run. I hooked up all of the wiring and pressed the power of button. Fans started whirring and I was greeted with the familiar beep of a booting computer. I went into the BIOS and started poking around a little. I typically check the system diagnostics to see if something seems out of whack. While there I noticed that the processor temperature was 55C at idle. Thats 131F. That is really hot for a computer that isnt doing anything. Back several years ago processors would shut down at 60C and my computer was 5C away from that and it wasnt even doing anything. I shut the machine down and started to check and see if anything was hooked up wrong or not working. Everything appeared to be in order.
I did some more research on the internet and found out that i7's are the hottest processor intel has ever developed. Literally. The temperatures that I was experiencing weren't uncommon and were actually well within design limits. I finished with the computer and started loading software. After the initial shock about the processor temperature I started logging the temperature during usage and I found out that the processor would go up to 100C when it was fully loaded. Holy crap!!! 100C is 212F. Thats boiling. Again this is within design limits and the processor has circuitry that actually will reduce the speed of the machine to keep the computer from going over 100C and damaging the processor.
After a week or so with the new machine I started to wonder if there was a better way to cool the computer than the stock fan that came with the processor. My brother said that I should look into a water cooler like his alienware computer has. I told him that water coolers were too much of a risk and too much hassle to use. In all of my years of building and working on computers I had never fooled around with water coolers. A water cooler is a system where you construct a piping system in your computer that has heat sinks that attach to your processor , video card, hard drive, etc. These are piped to a radiator unit and a pump unit that circulate the water and cool the system. They have been used by people who wanted to seriously over clock their machines for years. The problem is that you have to custom build the system and cut the tubing and assemble all of the compoents and insure that you dont have any leaks in the case with your very expensive components. One mistake and you have a big steel box full of wet, non functioning computer equipment.
He told me that the water cooler in the alienware was different. It was a closed loop system prepacked from the manufacturer. I started to do a little research and I found that he was right. Corsair makes a system called the H50 that is a prepackaged water cooler for Intel systems. All you do is install it on the processor like a typical air cooled fan and them mount the radiator to the back of the case like a case fan nd connect the power. It is already prepiped and ready to go. I ordered it and installed it in the machine.
The results were amazing. Prior to the installation of the water cooler the computer idled at 50C and went to 98C under load. With the H50 installed the computer idles at 38 C and under a heavy load of all 4 cores ripping a Blu-Ray disk it went to 60C. That's a full 40 degrees cooler and only 5 C warmer than the air cooler kept the processor at idle!!! Physics tells us that water has 4x the capacity to absorb heat than air. That is why it is such an effective heat transfer medium.
Ill run some bench marks of temperature and performance and post them later. Suffice it to say that it is a very cool machine now.
I think I might be getting ahead of myself a little bit. Let me back up a little bit.
As most of you know I like computers and electronic stuff. I have been building and fiddling with computers for 30 of my 40 years. I built my first computer at the age of 16. It was a clone of an IBM 80286. It had a whopping 256K of RAM and a 32 Mb Hard Drive. My cellphone puts that to shame these days. Before that I had a home built Apple 2E with DUAL FLOPPY DRIVES!!! I have probably built 200+ computers for myself and others over that time and upgraded or repaired more than that.
However, over the past few years with my increased responsibility in my engineering business and the addition of my third child I have found less time and desire to build and rebuild my computer every few months. Three years ago I gave my desktop up for a laptop computer. Over the past few months I have been getting more involved with some new 3D drafting software at work and the hardware requirements are significant. The limitations of my laptop were beginning to show. I decided that it was time to build a new computer for myself that would have the increased horsepower necessary for my work needs. I made the decision to build my new machine rather than buy something prepackaged. Building from scratch gives you the ability to control whats in the computer and truly tailor it to your needs. You also get more bang for your buck since you dont have to pay for things you already own or bloated software packages that you will never use.
So I started to research components.
I knew I needed a CPU with some real power so it didnt take too much to convince me that I needed an Intel Core i7 processor. AMD still has some nice chips but nothing out there today compares with the dual-quad core power of the i7. I could write a whole blog about the cool things that Intel has done with that processor. I chose the i7-940 running at 2.93 Ghz.
The motherboard is almost as important as the processor. I have always been a fan of Asus components but for this machine I settled on a Gigabyte Ultra-Durable 3 motherboard. It was very highly rated and uses the Intel LGA1366 chipset, SATA 6.0, DDR3 support and USB 3.0. It also had the M.I.T. integrated into the BIOS. This is the tweaking function that allows you to dynamically overclock the processor and get more CPU power for your buck.
I decided that I needed a minimum of 8 GB of DDR 3 RAM. The motherboard is rated for DDR 3 1600 (overclocked from 1100). So I chose G. Skill Ripjaw. I got a matched dual channel set of RAM with 2 banks of 4 Gb each.
The hard drive is a Hitachi Deskstar 2Tb SATA 6.0 hard drive.
The optical drive is a 16x LG Blu-Ray Writer.
The video card I already had at the office. It was left over from some upgrades that I did to the other machines. It is a Zotac implementation of an Nvidia 220 GT with 1 Gb of VRAM on board.
The case is several years old. I bought an all aluminum case (most of them are steel) several years ago. I really liked the case but when I made the move to laptops it got moved to the computer graveyard in my basement. The aluminum case is much lighter and is supposed to help with heat dissipation. So after a little cleaning it was ready to go. I also found a multi-function card reader in one of my old computers and removed it and put it into the new machine.
I was really starting to feel good about this new machine. I thought this was going to be one hot computer. Boy was it...
Assembly went well. I was surprised how much fun I had assembling one from scratch again. After an hour or so I had it all put together in the case and it was ready for the test run. I hooked up all of the wiring and pressed the power of button. Fans started whirring and I was greeted with the familiar beep of a booting computer. I went into the BIOS and started poking around a little. I typically check the system diagnostics to see if something seems out of whack. While there I noticed that the processor temperature was 55C at idle. Thats 131F. That is really hot for a computer that isnt doing anything. Back several years ago processors would shut down at 60C and my computer was 5C away from that and it wasnt even doing anything. I shut the machine down and started to check and see if anything was hooked up wrong or not working. Everything appeared to be in order.
I did some more research on the internet and found out that i7's are the hottest processor intel has ever developed. Literally. The temperatures that I was experiencing weren't uncommon and were actually well within design limits. I finished with the computer and started loading software. After the initial shock about the processor temperature I started logging the temperature during usage and I found out that the processor would go up to 100C when it was fully loaded. Holy crap!!! 100C is 212F. Thats boiling. Again this is within design limits and the processor has circuitry that actually will reduce the speed of the machine to keep the computer from going over 100C and damaging the processor.
After a week or so with the new machine I started to wonder if there was a better way to cool the computer than the stock fan that came with the processor. My brother said that I should look into a water cooler like his alienware computer has. I told him that water coolers were too much of a risk and too much hassle to use. In all of my years of building and working on computers I had never fooled around with water coolers. A water cooler is a system where you construct a piping system in your computer that has heat sinks that attach to your processor , video card, hard drive, etc. These are piped to a radiator unit and a pump unit that circulate the water and cool the system. They have been used by people who wanted to seriously over clock their machines for years. The problem is that you have to custom build the system and cut the tubing and assemble all of the compoents and insure that you dont have any leaks in the case with your very expensive components. One mistake and you have a big steel box full of wet, non functioning computer equipment.
He told me that the water cooler in the alienware was different. It was a closed loop system prepacked from the manufacturer. I started to do a little research and I found that he was right. Corsair makes a system called the H50 that is a prepackaged water cooler for Intel systems. All you do is install it on the processor like a typical air cooled fan and them mount the radiator to the back of the case like a case fan nd connect the power. It is already prepiped and ready to go. I ordered it and installed it in the machine.
The results were amazing. Prior to the installation of the water cooler the computer idled at 50C and went to 98C under load. With the H50 installed the computer idles at 38 C and under a heavy load of all 4 cores ripping a Blu-Ray disk it went to 60C. That's a full 40 degrees cooler and only 5 C warmer than the air cooler kept the processor at idle!!! Physics tells us that water has 4x the capacity to absorb heat than air. That is why it is such an effective heat transfer medium.
Ill run some bench marks of temperature and performance and post them later. Suffice it to say that it is a very cool machine now.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
So I went back to the hospital...
Ok so I went to Brookwood Hospital last week.
(oh no here he goes again)
No its not like that I promise. My friend had a baby and we went to visit
(see, its coming)
We parked in the parking deck and got everyone out (noah, beth and hannah included). We all walked across the bridge to the hospital.
(brace yourself)
And everything was fine. See I told you it wasn't going to be like that. We had a nice visit, got to see cute little Levi. Melinda decided that she wanted another one. I decided she was nuts. We said our goodbyes and headed back to the car.
At Brookwoods Women and Childrens center you have to pay your ticket in the hospital at the automated machine. So I put the ticket in the machine, forked over three bucks for a 30 minute visit and we headed back up the elevators.
We got the herd loaded up in the car and attempted to find our way out of the parking deck. Brookwood has the most confusing parking deck that I have ever seen. You drive up to go down, left to go right and farther into the deck to leave. I'm not sure what genius designed it but whoever it was they paid him too much.
When we finally made it to the gate there was a car already in front of us. If you arent observant enough to take your ticket into the hospital with you then you have to do the whole ticket pay thing at the gate. Apparently the guy in front of us was one of those people. He was in the process of putting his ticket into the flashing blue slot as we pulled up. It took him a few tries but he got it to go in finally and the automated machine told him that he owed brookwood hospital $3 for the privilege of parking his car for 30 - 45 minutes. Apparently this was a bit more than the hapless fellow had in his cup holder because he began frantically looking around his car for change. You could tell he wasnt really getting anywhere because the searching got more frantic and the passenger seat and glove box were next on the treasure hunt. Im not sure what he found there but it wasnt a fistful of washingtons because he had to look in the back seat next. I guess thats where he hid his stash because he started feeding the machine money. Im not sure if he just wasnt that good at counting or if he had to call the bank for a loan because he had to go back to the back seat again and get some more cash He then proceeded to feed another round of quarters into the machine. The whole ordeal of paying his parking had taken nearly 10 minutes. We enjoyed watching the show. Especially considering that the gate had been up the whole time. Every freaking second tat he spent rummaging around his car for wadded up dollars and quarters stuffed between the seats. We drove out without even stopping and laughed nearly all the way home. I was so amused that it didn't even occur to me that we paid our ticket unnecessarily until I was almost all the way to the house.
(oh no here he goes again)
No its not like that I promise. My friend had a baby and we went to visit
(see, its coming)
We parked in the parking deck and got everyone out (noah, beth and hannah included). We all walked across the bridge to the hospital.
(brace yourself)
And everything was fine. See I told you it wasn't going to be like that. We had a nice visit, got to see cute little Levi. Melinda decided that she wanted another one. I decided she was nuts. We said our goodbyes and headed back to the car.
At Brookwoods Women and Childrens center you have to pay your ticket in the hospital at the automated machine. So I put the ticket in the machine, forked over three bucks for a 30 minute visit and we headed back up the elevators.
We got the herd loaded up in the car and attempted to find our way out of the parking deck. Brookwood has the most confusing parking deck that I have ever seen. You drive up to go down, left to go right and farther into the deck to leave. I'm not sure what genius designed it but whoever it was they paid him too much.
When we finally made it to the gate there was a car already in front of us. If you arent observant enough to take your ticket into the hospital with you then you have to do the whole ticket pay thing at the gate. Apparently the guy in front of us was one of those people. He was in the process of putting his ticket into the flashing blue slot as we pulled up. It took him a few tries but he got it to go in finally and the automated machine told him that he owed brookwood hospital $3 for the privilege of parking his car for 30 - 45 minutes. Apparently this was a bit more than the hapless fellow had in his cup holder because he began frantically looking around his car for change. You could tell he wasnt really getting anywhere because the searching got more frantic and the passenger seat and glove box were next on the treasure hunt. Im not sure what he found there but it wasnt a fistful of washingtons because he had to look in the back seat next. I guess thats where he hid his stash because he started feeding the machine money. Im not sure if he just wasnt that good at counting or if he had to call the bank for a loan because he had to go back to the back seat again and get some more cash He then proceeded to feed another round of quarters into the machine. The whole ordeal of paying his parking had taken nearly 10 minutes. We enjoyed watching the show. Especially considering that the gate had been up the whole time. Every freaking second tat he spent rummaging around his car for wadded up dollars and quarters stuffed between the seats. We drove out without even stopping and laughed nearly all the way home. I was so amused that it didn't even occur to me that we paid our ticket unnecessarily until I was almost all the way to the house.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The bridge to hell...
I wasn't prepared for what was coming.
My brother went to the ER monday morning. He was having chest pains. You don't want to mess with chest pains and he hadnt been feeling right for a few days. He got to work Monday and the pains got worse and were followed by dizziness and nausea. He left work and drove himself to the St. Vincents downtown emergency room. He spent the better part of the day in the ER undergoing all sorts of tests to see if he was having any sort of cardiac problem. After several hours of this they decided to admit him for observation and testing. I thought being the good caring brother that I am that I would run by there on the way home and check on him.
I left the office and drove downtown to the hospital. I had a lot on my mind that day. I have several ongoing projects with approaching deadlines and I was thinking about various details of them as I drove. I have to admit I was sort of in auto-pilot. You know how auto-pilot is, you just end up somewhere and dont even remember how you got there. Im sure if there had been a wreck or something in flames on the way there auto-pilot would have switched off and brought me back to consciousness. Maybe.
I drive downtown at least 3 or 4 times a week and I ahve been to St. Vincents at least 100 times or more so auto-pilot took me off of 280, down the off ramp and into the parking deck at the hospital. As soon as I parked I started thinking more about my brother and all of the things that might be causing his issues other than a heart problem. So again I was sort of in auto-pilot as I got out of the car, walked to elevator and pushed the button. I got in and rode it up to the lobby of the Womens and Childrens Center. I pressed the button for the elevator up to the crosswalk to the main hospital and got on the elevator with several other people who were going up.
The doors opened and I got out on the third floor and it started.
I stepped out of the elevator with the other people and the first thing I noticed was the odor. It was bad but it was that very distinct hospital / delivery suite smell. I didnt really know why at first but my heart started beating faster. I started walking to the crosswalk and my as of yet unrealized anxiety started to grow. I felt flush and I could feel small beads of sweat popping out on my forehead. It was now at the entrance to the bridge that I started to ask myself what was wrong. It was almost like I caught a virus with a 5 minute incubation period.
What the heck?
About 15 feet into the crosswalk the question was answered and in a matter of 3-1/2 seconds 21 days of hell came rushing back. The realization of where I was and what auto-pilot had let me do hit me like a blow to the chest. I was back. I had not been to St. Vincents since the day Noah was transferred to Children's NICU.
I am not prone to panic attacks, i don't get too overly emotional or worked up about much. Things usually slide off my back pretty easily. I'm a very laid back guy. None of that mattered. I stopped walking.
Keep walking. Cmon.
Breathe.
Not too much.
You need to keep walking.
I need to get the hell out of here.
I managed to pick my feet up and get moving.
Wait, not that fast.
Slow down. People are going to think your weird.
I dont give a damn.
In retrospect I think it was the lack of mental preparation that let me get to that bridge without realizing where I was. I spent so much time in autopilot on the way there that the reality of where I was going never occurred to me. I had unknowingly parked in the same deck, taken the same elevator and walked the same way that I went twice a day to see Noah in the NICU after he was born. I had returned to this place.
This is the place that my children were born. This is also the place that my son spent the first 21 days of his life in the NICU. This is the place that a "doctor" told me that my son would be institutionalized for his whole life. This is the place that pumped my son full of anti-seizure drugs for an epileptic condition that they were sure he had and could never find. This is the place that put IV's in my sons head. This is the place that told us that Noah surely had a variety of metabolic and genetic conditions that were most likely untreatable. This is the place that made me sit in a waiting room while my son had a series of seizures and let me think that he might have died.
This is the place that I learned that there are a lot of well meaning people who call themselves "doctors" that don't know much at all once you get them out of their little area of experience.
By the time I made it to the 6th floor where my brothers room was I had calmed down a little. My breathing heart rate were less frantic. I made it to my brothers room and spent a little time there checking on him. As it turns out he didnt have any cardiac issues. It appears that he has a gall bladder or stomach problem that is not too serious.
I left and headed home to my family who are healthy, happy and very much not institutionalized (although sometimes I think that we might need to be). I went back to my car a different way that didn't involve walking across that bridge.
I didn't drive home in auto-pilot.
My brother went to the ER monday morning. He was having chest pains. You don't want to mess with chest pains and he hadnt been feeling right for a few days. He got to work Monday and the pains got worse and were followed by dizziness and nausea. He left work and drove himself to the St. Vincents downtown emergency room. He spent the better part of the day in the ER undergoing all sorts of tests to see if he was having any sort of cardiac problem. After several hours of this they decided to admit him for observation and testing. I thought being the good caring brother that I am that I would run by there on the way home and check on him.
I left the office and drove downtown to the hospital. I had a lot on my mind that day. I have several ongoing projects with approaching deadlines and I was thinking about various details of them as I drove. I have to admit I was sort of in auto-pilot. You know how auto-pilot is, you just end up somewhere and dont even remember how you got there. Im sure if there had been a wreck or something in flames on the way there auto-pilot would have switched off and brought me back to consciousness. Maybe.
I drive downtown at least 3 or 4 times a week and I ahve been to St. Vincents at least 100 times or more so auto-pilot took me off of 280, down the off ramp and into the parking deck at the hospital. As soon as I parked I started thinking more about my brother and all of the things that might be causing his issues other than a heart problem. So again I was sort of in auto-pilot as I got out of the car, walked to elevator and pushed the button. I got in and rode it up to the lobby of the Womens and Childrens Center. I pressed the button for the elevator up to the crosswalk to the main hospital and got on the elevator with several other people who were going up.
The doors opened and I got out on the third floor and it started.
I stepped out of the elevator with the other people and the first thing I noticed was the odor. It was bad but it was that very distinct hospital / delivery suite smell. I didnt really know why at first but my heart started beating faster. I started walking to the crosswalk and my as of yet unrealized anxiety started to grow. I felt flush and I could feel small beads of sweat popping out on my forehead. It was now at the entrance to the bridge that I started to ask myself what was wrong. It was almost like I caught a virus with a 5 minute incubation period.
What the heck?
About 15 feet into the crosswalk the question was answered and in a matter of 3-1/2 seconds 21 days of hell came rushing back. The realization of where I was and what auto-pilot had let me do hit me like a blow to the chest. I was back. I had not been to St. Vincents since the day Noah was transferred to Children's NICU.
I am not prone to panic attacks, i don't get too overly emotional or worked up about much. Things usually slide off my back pretty easily. I'm a very laid back guy. None of that mattered. I stopped walking.
Keep walking. Cmon.
Breathe.
Not too much.
You need to keep walking.
I need to get the hell out of here.
I managed to pick my feet up and get moving.
Wait, not that fast.
Slow down. People are going to think your weird.
I dont give a damn.
In retrospect I think it was the lack of mental preparation that let me get to that bridge without realizing where I was. I spent so much time in autopilot on the way there that the reality of where I was going never occurred to me. I had unknowingly parked in the same deck, taken the same elevator and walked the same way that I went twice a day to see Noah in the NICU after he was born. I had returned to this place.
This is the place that my children were born. This is also the place that my son spent the first 21 days of his life in the NICU. This is the place that a "doctor" told me that my son would be institutionalized for his whole life. This is the place that pumped my son full of anti-seizure drugs for an epileptic condition that they were sure he had and could never find. This is the place that put IV's in my sons head. This is the place that told us that Noah surely had a variety of metabolic and genetic conditions that were most likely untreatable. This is the place that made me sit in a waiting room while my son had a series of seizures and let me think that he might have died.
This is the place that I learned that there are a lot of well meaning people who call themselves "doctors" that don't know much at all once you get them out of their little area of experience.
By the time I made it to the 6th floor where my brothers room was I had calmed down a little. My breathing heart rate were less frantic. I made it to my brothers room and spent a little time there checking on him. As it turns out he didnt have any cardiac issues. It appears that he has a gall bladder or stomach problem that is not too serious.
I left and headed home to my family who are healthy, happy and very much not institutionalized (although sometimes I think that we might need to be). I went back to my car a different way that didn't involve walking across that bridge.
I didn't drive home in auto-pilot.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Apple IOS 4.3 Ho Hum...
Well I didnt really intend to write another blog entry today but oh well here goes.
Let me just preface this with the warning that this post falls in the NERD category of posts. So if you are wondering when I am going to get around to talking about Noah or the girls or Melinda, I'm not.
Sorry.
Ive definitely got plenty to say about them but thats for another day.
The reason for todays post is the release of Apple iOS 4.3. This update to the operating software for iphones, ipod touches and ipads came out yesterday. It has been anticpiated as a semi-big update that would bring improved speed and features. Maybe I was expecting too much from a point release but I was less than thrilled with what was included.
The new features were improvements to Airplay which would let you stream content from your iphone or ipad to your television through an apple tv. I dont have an apple tv so this was useless. Even if I did Im not sure that I would frequently use this feature. I mean how often are you going to have content on your mobile device that you need to play on the big TV? Maybe its just me.
Safari received a speed increase from the updates to the underlying javascript engine that runs it. This is ok. I cant say that its a night an day improvement. The ipad version of safari was already a fairly fast browser. I can tell that the iphone version seems to load things a little quicker.
Apple added itunes home sharing. This is the feature that will let you play things from your itunes library on your i-device as long as you are on the same wifi network. This is a little more useful if you have a home PC. I do everything on a laptop so if I am going to go to the trouble to open the laptop and start itunes for sharing I might as well use the laptop. Plus with 16 Gb on the ipad and iphone I already have most everything I would want to play on my device already.
The feature I was most excited about was the Personal Hotspot which would let you use your I-device as a wireless hotspot to access the cellular network. This has been available through apps like MyFi for a while if you were brave enough to jail break your phone. I was looking forward to doing it legally. AT&T decided to step in and felt like they needed to make money from this. So in order to use it you have to add an additional data plan that changes your 2Gb data plan into a 4Gb data plan for an additional $15 a month. If you were one of the early iphone adopters that is grandfathered in to having an unlimited data plan (like me) you will have to give that up to get the hotspot feature. So the thing I was most looking forward to became the thing that I am most bummed about thanks to AT&T.
Therefore the feature that became the most useful to me out of this update is the ability to specify what the switch on the side of your i-device does. On iphones this switch muted the phone and on Ipads it locked the rotation. Now you can choose what it does and the other feature is available through the app switching menu (double tap home).
How exciting.
Maybe iOS 4.4 will be better.
Let me just preface this with the warning that this post falls in the NERD category of posts. So if you are wondering when I am going to get around to talking about Noah or the girls or Melinda, I'm not.
Sorry.
Ive definitely got plenty to say about them but thats for another day.
The reason for todays post is the release of Apple iOS 4.3. This update to the operating software for iphones, ipod touches and ipads came out yesterday. It has been anticpiated as a semi-big update that would bring improved speed and features. Maybe I was expecting too much from a point release but I was less than thrilled with what was included.
The new features were improvements to Airplay which would let you stream content from your iphone or ipad to your television through an apple tv. I dont have an apple tv so this was useless. Even if I did Im not sure that I would frequently use this feature. I mean how often are you going to have content on your mobile device that you need to play on the big TV? Maybe its just me.
Safari received a speed increase from the updates to the underlying javascript engine that runs it. This is ok. I cant say that its a night an day improvement. The ipad version of safari was already a fairly fast browser. I can tell that the iphone version seems to load things a little quicker.
Apple added itunes home sharing. This is the feature that will let you play things from your itunes library on your i-device as long as you are on the same wifi network. This is a little more useful if you have a home PC. I do everything on a laptop so if I am going to go to the trouble to open the laptop and start itunes for sharing I might as well use the laptop. Plus with 16 Gb on the ipad and iphone I already have most everything I would want to play on my device already.
The feature I was most excited about was the Personal Hotspot which would let you use your I-device as a wireless hotspot to access the cellular network. This has been available through apps like MyFi for a while if you were brave enough to jail break your phone. I was looking forward to doing it legally. AT&T decided to step in and felt like they needed to make money from this. So in order to use it you have to add an additional data plan that changes your 2Gb data plan into a 4Gb data plan for an additional $15 a month. If you were one of the early iphone adopters that is grandfathered in to having an unlimited data plan (like me) you will have to give that up to get the hotspot feature. So the thing I was most looking forward to became the thing that I am most bummed about thanks to AT&T.
Therefore the feature that became the most useful to me out of this update is the ability to specify what the switch on the side of your i-device does. On iphones this switch muted the phone and on Ipads it locked the rotation. Now you can choose what it does and the other feature is available through the app switching menu (double tap home).
How exciting.
Maybe iOS 4.4 will be better.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
What was I thinking...
Yes I started a blog.
No I didnt do it because I think Kevin O'Kelley is cool and I want to be just like him.
I promise.
Really.
Ok maybe that had a little to do with it.
Anyway, I have been thinking about starting one for a while. I really meant to do it after Noah was born to chronicle his life, challenges and triumphs, etc. I got a little distracted. Yes, I know that he is 18 months old. At least I started this before he got married.
Hopefully I will make more than and embarrassing three entries before he gets married too.
As you might have guessed, Noah is one of my main reasons for writing this but I am sure being the nerd that I am I will drift into other topics like football, video games and work. I know most of you arent interested in all of the riveting current happenings in the world of mechanical engineering, construction and green building but you can skip those days.
So what finally kicked me into blogging? Noah decided to start walking today. I mean he has been flirting with it for a while. He will let go and take a few steps. Sometimes it takes a little encouragement (read as small push from dad). Today he just let go and started walking around like he had been doing it for years. Its really weird to turn around and see a little two foot tall guy wobbling around. Melinda says he looks like Frankenstein walking. He holds his arms out and has a pretty stiff walk.
I know thats not earth shattering to most people.
I mean every kid walks, right?
Its just one of those moments that make you stop and take a look back at where the little guy started out and how far he has come. 18 months ago Noah was born a month premature. Two hours later he turned blue and spent the next four months in the hospital, had a few surgeries and got a really expensive pile of equipment to make sure that he doesnt go into seizures due to oxygen depravation every night. It makes you realize how much of a miracle even the simplest developmental milestone really is. Walking is just another small miracle that reminds me how special Noah is.
That's it for the first post. More to come.
No I didnt do it because I think Kevin O'Kelley is cool and I want to be just like him.
I promise.
Really.
Ok maybe that had a little to do with it.
Anyway, I have been thinking about starting one for a while. I really meant to do it after Noah was born to chronicle his life, challenges and triumphs, etc. I got a little distracted. Yes, I know that he is 18 months old. At least I started this before he got married.
Hopefully I will make more than and embarrassing three entries before he gets married too.
As you might have guessed, Noah is one of my main reasons for writing this but I am sure being the nerd that I am I will drift into other topics like football, video games and work. I know most of you arent interested in all of the riveting current happenings in the world of mechanical engineering, construction and green building but you can skip those days.
So what finally kicked me into blogging? Noah decided to start walking today. I mean he has been flirting with it for a while. He will let go and take a few steps. Sometimes it takes a little encouragement (read as small push from dad). Today he just let go and started walking around like he had been doing it for years. Its really weird to turn around and see a little two foot tall guy wobbling around. Melinda says he looks like Frankenstein walking. He holds his arms out and has a pretty stiff walk.
I know thats not earth shattering to most people.
I mean every kid walks, right?
Its just one of those moments that make you stop and take a look back at where the little guy started out and how far he has come. 18 months ago Noah was born a month premature. Two hours later he turned blue and spent the next four months in the hospital, had a few surgeries and got a really expensive pile of equipment to make sure that he doesnt go into seizures due to oxygen depravation every night. It makes you realize how much of a miracle even the simplest developmental milestone really is. Walking is just another small miracle that reminds me how special Noah is.
That's it for the first post. More to come.
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